Did I not tell you, Dear Internet, quite some time ago that it would behoove many a single gal to stay.the.hell.away from Charlie Sheen ?
So it seems I have said something to that effect in the not too distant past.
Guess what ?
It seems a leopard cannot change his spots.
Or his anger management problems.
I think he used a knife this time because he's not legally allowed to own a handgun - for good reason I might add......
:::::::sigh:::::::::
Ladies, he cannot be " fixed ".
I don't care who you are or what you have to offer.
He is the original Scratch & Dent of Significant Others.
Don't shop on the clearance rack for a life partner !
I think by now he should also not be legally allowed to cohabitate with any female ever again.
Dr. Drew where are you ??????
XOXO
Bunny
28 December 2009
26 December 2009
What Happens When You're On Santa's " Naughty " List.
You get a nasty-assed case of Conjunctivitis on Christmas Eve.
Y'all can CLICK HERE if you dare.
But I'm warning you, it's not for those of you who get grossed out easily.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
XOXO
Bunny
Y'all can CLICK HERE if you dare.
But I'm warning you, it's not for those of you who get grossed out easily.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
XOXO
Bunny
20 December 2009
The Buck Stops At Auntie....
The In-Laws went back to sunny FLA yesterday. They'd been here for a few days for a pre-pinnacle of forced Merriment and Mass Merchandising season visit.
It was lovely to see all of them and as one often says we-don't-see-each-other-lets-do-this-again-soon and this time The Mister and I actually meant it.
However I should tell y'all that it snowed last night. Like, a lot. As Steph has been known to say, it was " Snowmaggedon. "
Anywho, as I was saying, The Buck Stops At Auntie.
Let me paint y'all a picture;
My 2-year old Niece: ( displaying the beginnings an Oprah-worthy Ugly Cry for no good reason..) **Sniff, sniff, snort, curl of lip ** WAAAAHHHHH. WAH WAH WAHHHHH !
Me ( tenderly as possible, but I ain't playing, yo.): Hey, there is no crying at Auntie's house.
My Niece: ( slightly taken aback that someone has told her that crying is not allowed )** Sniff ( pause ) sniff, sniff, ( pause ) boogers descend from nose, lip curls again ** WAAHH-
Me: Excuse me, I told you crying was not allowed at Auntie's house.
My Niece: ( processing this new information with a slight WTF look on her face ) ** Sucks boogers back up into her nose with the force of a Hoover vacuum and tentatively attempts whining instead ** Eeeehhhh...uhhh....waah..
Me: Listen, I'm sorry, but crying and whining is not allowed. This is Auntie's house and she pays the bills. So the only person who gets to cry around here is me, ok ?
My Niece: ( nodding ) ** sucks back more boogs with epic suction force **
Me: Are you ok now ?
My Niece: ( wipes nose on sleeve ) Yesh.
FAST FORWARD SIX HOURS....
My Niece: ( again with the crying bit...) WAHH WAAAHHHH-
Me: Hey, there is no crying at Auntie's. Remember ?
My Niece: ( nods her head ) ** sucks back boogers ** Yesh. ** goes on about her business **
FAST FORWARD.....
My Niece: ( over tired and fighting bedtime )** rubs eyes, binkie hanging loosely from her mouth ** Eeeehhh, uhuuuu, mmmmmhh, weeeennn, eeeehhss......
Me: ( carrying her to the bedroom )Come on, it's time for little girls to go to bed now.
MN: ( Crawls into bed ) ** fuss fuss whhhhhinnee, rubs eyes **
Me: ( pulls the blankets over her ) I'm going to put the blankets over you, you close your eyes and go to sleep.
MN: **Snores **
THE NEXT DAY....
MN ( on a crazy, mad powdered sugar induced spaz attack ) ** doing laps around the house and occasionally stopping in the kitchen to butt her head against my thigh ** SQQUEEEE !! AAAAA HAAAAA !! NA NA NA NA !! HEHEHEHEHEHE !!!
** Stops a lap in the kitchen, falls onto the floor and begins performance art that can best be described as a cross between peddling an invisible bike and moshing **
Me ( staring at MN spazzing out on the kitchen floor ): That's it. You've had enough. You're cut off.
MN: ( looking up at me from the floor ) No ! You off ! ** giggles uncontrollably **
Me: Nope, YOU'RE cut off.
It was lovely to see all of them and as one often says we-don't-see-each-other-lets-do-this-again-soon and this time The Mister and I actually meant it.
However I should tell y'all that it snowed last night. Like, a lot. As Steph has been known to say, it was " Snowmaggedon. "
Anywho, as I was saying, The Buck Stops At Auntie.
Let me paint y'all a picture;
My 2-year old Niece: ( displaying the beginnings an Oprah-worthy Ugly Cry for no good reason..) **Sniff, sniff, snort, curl of lip ** WAAAAHHHHH. WAH WAH WAHHHHH !
Me ( tenderly as possible, but I ain't playing, yo.): Hey, there is no crying at Auntie's house.
My Niece: ( slightly taken aback that someone has told her that crying is not allowed )** Sniff ( pause ) sniff, sniff, ( pause ) boogers descend from nose, lip curls again ** WAAHH-
Me: Excuse me, I told you crying was not allowed at Auntie's house.
My Niece: ( processing this new information with a slight WTF look on her face ) ** Sucks boogers back up into her nose with the force of a Hoover vacuum and tentatively attempts whining instead ** Eeeehhhh...uhhh....waah..
Me: Listen, I'm sorry, but crying and whining is not allowed. This is Auntie's house and she pays the bills. So the only person who gets to cry around here is me, ok ?
My Niece: ( nodding ) ** sucks back more boogs with epic suction force **
Me: Are you ok now ?
My Niece: ( wipes nose on sleeve ) Yesh.
FAST FORWARD SIX HOURS....
My Niece: ( again with the crying bit...) WAHH WAAAHHHH-
Me: Hey, there is no crying at Auntie's. Remember ?
My Niece: ( nods her head ) ** sucks back boogers ** Yesh. ** goes on about her business **
FAST FORWARD.....
My Niece: ( over tired and fighting bedtime )** rubs eyes, binkie hanging loosely from her mouth ** Eeeehhh, uhuuuu, mmmmmhh, weeeennn, eeeehhss......
Me: ( carrying her to the bedroom )Come on, it's time for little girls to go to bed now.
MN: ( Crawls into bed ) ** fuss fuss whhhhhinnee, rubs eyes **
Me: ( pulls the blankets over her ) I'm going to put the blankets over you, you close your eyes and go to sleep.
MN: **Snores **
THE NEXT DAY....
MN ( on a crazy, mad powdered sugar induced spaz attack ) ** doing laps around the house and occasionally stopping in the kitchen to butt her head against my thigh ** SQQUEEEE !! AAAAA HAAAAA !! NA NA NA NA !! HEHEHEHEHEHE !!!
** Stops a lap in the kitchen, falls onto the floor and begins performance art that can best be described as a cross between peddling an invisible bike and moshing **
Me ( staring at MN spazzing out on the kitchen floor ): That's it. You've had enough. You're cut off.
MN: ( looking up at me from the floor ) No ! You off ! ** giggles uncontrollably **
Me: Nope, YOU'RE cut off.
MN: ** points at me ** No. YOU OFF !
Me: Gimme your keys, I'm calling you a cab.
MN: CAWING UM' ! ( I'll translate.. " G'head Auntie, call a cab." )
Me: ( putting plate of xmas cookies out of her reach ) That's it, we're closing up. We're skipping last call tonight. Besides, you've had enough.
MN: ( face down on the cold stone tile of the kitchen floor, beginning her sugar crash ) I OFF !
Me: You said it girlfriend.
So I guess I can add " Getting a two year old to behave " to my list of Mad Skillz.
You thought I was kidding about the powdered sugar induced spaz attack.
She licked the spilled powered sugar off the counter after we made xmas cookies.
Spaz Attack in 3........2...........1
XXOO
Bunny
a.k.a Auntie
13 December 2009
08 December 2009
The Countdown Begins.
I have seven days of full time employment left as of today.
Start your collective timers now.......tick..tick..tick.
I've started and trashed about five blog posts with regard to why I decided to relinquish my job, but I seem to have a hard time ordering my thoughts and nothing I'd written made any sense.
Perhaps another day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, onto the forced merriment and mass merchandising season..... The Mister has become infused with the holiday spirit as of late. The xmas tunes have been flowing like vodka around here. We've been on a steady diet of Lou Rawls, Harry Connick Jr, et al for about a week now. He made cookies the other day. He's mentioned purchasing a tree a few times now.
Me ? Meh. I'd prefer to go from Halloween right onto Groundhog Day. The holidays don't do too much for me. They never have. But I'm going to take one for the team and deck my halls with made-in-China boughs of Holly from WalMart and smile while I'm doing it.
Just an FYI, my favorite xmas tune....that you hardly ever hear anymore....is Cheech and Chong's Christmas Song. I believe the correct name of the song is " Santa Claus and His Old Lady " Click on the Santa Claus and His Old Lady listed on the right hand side.
Hilarious. Cracks me up every stinkin time.
Gotta go get ready for work.
Smell ya later.
XO
Bunny
Start your collective timers now.......tick..tick..tick.
I've started and trashed about five blog posts with regard to why I decided to relinquish my job, but I seem to have a hard time ordering my thoughts and nothing I'd written made any sense.
Perhaps another day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, onto the forced merriment and mass merchandising season..... The Mister has become infused with the holiday spirit as of late. The xmas tunes have been flowing like vodka around here. We've been on a steady diet of Lou Rawls, Harry Connick Jr, et al for about a week now. He made cookies the other day. He's mentioned purchasing a tree a few times now.
Me ? Meh. I'd prefer to go from Halloween right onto Groundhog Day. The holidays don't do too much for me. They never have. But I'm going to take one for the team and deck my halls with made-in-China boughs of Holly from WalMart and smile while I'm doing it.
Just an FYI, my favorite xmas tune....that you hardly ever hear anymore....is Cheech and Chong's Christmas Song. I believe the correct name of the song is " Santa Claus and His Old Lady " Click on the Santa Claus and His Old Lady listed on the right hand side.
Hilarious. Cracks me up every stinkin time.
Gotta go get ready for work.
Smell ya later.
XO
Bunny
03 December 2009
The Untitled Post About That Time I Quit My Job.
Ummm.......y'all read that correctly.
I gave my notice at work about two weeks ago.
I have eleven days of full time employment left.
I bet you're all thinking What kinda dumbass quits a stable, full time job during a recession ??!!.
Ummm.......that would be me.
I'd take the time to explain, but I spent eleven hours in my car today and well, I'm really fucking tired.
Film at 11.
XXOO
Bunny
P.S. For some 140 character or less entertainment y'all should check out my twitter account/page/profile.
P.P.S WHY THE FUCK WILL THIS GUY NOT GO THE HELL AWAY ! UGH !
I gave my notice at work about two weeks ago.
I have eleven days of full time employment left.
I bet you're all thinking What kinda dumbass quits a stable, full time job during a recession ??!!.
Ummm.......that would be me.
I'd take the time to explain, but I spent eleven hours in my car today and well, I'm really fucking tired.
Film at 11.
XXOO
Bunny
P.S. For some 140 character or less entertainment y'all should check out my twitter account/page/profile.
P.P.S WHY THE FUCK WILL THIS GUY NOT GO THE HELL AWAY ! UGH !
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