Every Woman's Got At Least One.

One what you ask ?
Someone, while not necessarily occupying a spot on her freebie list, that she is oddly and unexplainably attracted to.

So unexplainably so that it disgusts her just a little bit. I'm not talking vomit in the back of the throat disgusted, but perhaps a little unsettled and maybe leaving her wondering if she has Daddy issues.

I have one that I, for the life of me, cannot explain my half-hearted attraction to....

This would be Anthony Bourdain. I KNOW ! I don't get it either ! I watch his show No Reservations and...I don't wanna look, but I can't help it. I'm oddly fascinated by him.

Maybe it's his overt sense of misanthropy, I mean, nobody will ever look at this guy and have the words joie de vive cross their minds. He also has some element of bad ass to him...and he's intelligent...maybe its the combination of all of these things I find attractive.

And I love how he rips on Rachel Ray. Man is that bitch annoying !

I realize that he is old enough to be my father...and really...that breaks Rule #3 related to Consentual Adult Activities I have, which would be " Thou shalt not screw anyone old enough to be your father. " Which for me, is anyone born before oh...say....1960.

Side Note: Yes, I only have three rules when it comes to being intimate....I often wondered if I should more than three....I wondered if having only three rules could be construed as me being considered loose....but seeing as how the only person I am intimate with is The Mister I think three is OK. I won't indulge you guys in the first two rules.....I don't want you guys to come to my house and hang out and have my " sex rules " floating around in your head. I love you guys too much to do that to you....'cause believe me....there is some shit I know about people that I really wish I didn't know.

For the record, I don' t think I have Daddy issues, and Brock finds my attraction to Mr. Bourdain hilarious.

Xo

Bunny

Retro Music Friday.

Because I'm not quite done with the sophomoric musings of Adam Sandler.......
I present all of you with......Lunch Lady Land.




I know, I know......I'm usually a little more " on it " than this....but I'm feeling a bit juvenile today.


I really have no use for Adam, and really....I don't find him all that funny. But, given the huge market for toilet humor aimed at 12 year old boys I see why he has the career he has.
Although, I did enjoy watching him ( the 30 minutes I did manage to watch....you know me and movies ) in Spanglish.......very outside the box for him.


As I'm sure you all guessed I have an Adam Sandler story to attach to today's video.

When I was in High School ( many moons ago - you know....when we had jesus starter jackets... ) it was the tradition that the graduating class dedicate the year book to their favorite teacher.....I clearly remember the class of 199- ( are you kidding me ? I'm not telling when I graduated ! ) ( am I too young to start lying about my age ? 'Cause really, I make the age I am look really good....* strains arm to pat self on back*) sitting the auditorium and taking a vote as to whom we should dedicate the year book to. It was almost unanimous....it was the lunch ladies.....hands down.


Don't believe me ?
Check this......

Uh huh....those would be lunch ladies. I actually took the time to dig out my year book, find the dedication page and scan it onto my computer. Lest you all think I'm totally full of shit.

I do remember that the lunch ladies at my HS were all really sweet grandmotherly types.....hell....they deserved it.

Of course I think the only reason the yearbook was dedicated to them was because....you guessed it....Lunch Lady Land came out the year I graduated.

________________________________________________

How was Thanksgiving you ask ?

The only thing I can really say is that if I could bathe in The Mister's homemade gravy I would.

Have a lovely weekend, m'kay ?

XO

Bunny

Happy Turkey Day Y'All !!

The Mister & I would like to wish everyone

a very happy Thanksgiving.

And.....

for more ( off color ) turkey day themed laughs

please CLICK HERE.

XO

Bunny & The Mister

Stick A Fork In Me, I'm Done.

Thanksgiving is cancelled this year.
At least at my house it is anyway.

I've been so strung out dealing with and managing other people's feelings / emotions and trying to make EVERYONE happy ( impossible, btw. ) that I've not slept right or eaten properly in eight days.

So, the only logical solution I could come up with, while I laid awake at 4am yesterday morning, was to cancel Thanksgiving this year.

Basically this is me having a temper tantrum, so to speak.
If we ( the mister and I ) can't have the Thanksgiving we want, we're not having one at all.

The other side of this coin is that since nobody can seem to find any common ground perhaps it's for the best that we all sit this one out.

I was actually relieved to not have to deal with any of this anymore after I put the calls out that we'd not be cooking and that people should make other plans.

Of course there are a lot of hurt feelings around here.

But whatever......

The Mister and I will most likely go to the movies tomorrow.

XOOO
Bunny

Countdown To The Thanksgiving Clusterfuck.

To say that my family is currently fractured would be the understatement of the millennium.

Shit is all FUBAR around here.......

Up until last week, none of the issues that are causing the current fracturing of my family were mine.

I was merely an innocent bystander to all of the dysfunction swirling around me.

I didn't like it, but seeing as how I was in the eye of the storm so to speak, I really tried to not let it bother me.

The people with the issues simply needed to work them out.

Well, now I have the hot potato of dysfunction in my lap and I REALLY DON"T LIKE IT.

I am now square in the middle of other people's issues. Which, I'm sure you'll all remember from a previous post, is where I really don't like being.

This is why I am so selective about whom I let into my inner sanctum.

People who don't know how to act get tossed out on their asses......I've done it before.

Don't misunderstand, I'm a very forgiving person and am willing to overlook a lot.

The people previously tossed out on their asses continually acted the fool, despite my second, third and hundred fiftieth chance given.

And seeing as how I ( and the mister ) seem to be the only adult in my family these days I will be putting this shit to an end.

The buck is going to stop here.....and it won't be pretty.

I started out with 11 people, including The Mister and I, coming to my house for T-giving.

Now we're down to just he and I.

I ordered a 20 lb turkey for the big day.

The only thing I'm really wondering at this point is who the fuck is going to eat all of this turkey ?

XO

Bunny

Retro Music Friday.

OK, first off I'm really sorry this is a day late. I was out of the house for most of the day yesterday.

I thought we'd do a David Lee Roth retrospective this week. Not sure if any of you remember that DLR had a moderately successful solo career after he parted ways with Van Halen. I know it's hard to believe that Diamond Dave had enough solo work to warrant a retrospective, but it's true.

It can be said that Dave perhaps has a penchant for the ridiculous, as evidenced by these videos.

This is California Girls. I had this on a 45 when I was a kid. This vid was from 1985. I was 9. Hard to believe it only took 23 years for over-sized white sunglasses to come back into fashion.

This is Just A Gigolo. Dave at his most sublimely ridiculous. I think this was from 1985 as well.

And of course I had to throw in The Mister's favorite DLR song. This is Yankee Rose.

So, please enjoy - Dave would want you to.

___________________________________________________

In other news, yesterday was our 20 month LID anniversary at the CCAA. We recently got an email update from our agency that the CCAA only referred Feb 16 and 17th of 2006 for the month of November.

Gimme an S

Gimme a U

Gimme a C

Gimme a K

What does that spell ? SUCK !

I also came across this article earlier this week, which makes me profoundly sad.

It also makes me profoundly sad that we had to ask to be taken off the wait list for the Taiwan program this week. We actually came up to the point where they were going to have us gather the beginning part of the dossier for Taiwan. They emailed us the instructions for the dossier- which I heartily laughed my ass off when I read them.

Not only does Taiwan require that the PAP be functioning and normal, but the rest of our families have to be functioning and normal as well, with photos to prove it.

And seeing as how neither Brock or I are currently in possession of a functioning, well adjusted family, this is just not going to happen. Don't get me wrong, Brock and I are like two little Fonzies, we're cool. Everyone else happens to be screwed up at the moment.

It did occur to me to have complete strangers stand in for our respective families. It also occurred to me to take old pics of our families and Photoshop them all together. Like, " Oh, here we are at the Grand Canyon, don't we look happy and normal ! " But I thought that our social worker Jane might just catch onto this kind of subterfuge.

So, we're waiting for China. Which, if things continue at the current pace they are we will most likely be pushing 40 by the time we get a kid home.

My sister did offer to give me one of her eggs. Which is an awfully generous gesture, but the egg retrieval process is extremely painful, long and complicated and I just could not ask that of another woman.

__________________________________________________

So, that's that. Have a great weeekend everyone !

XOOOOO

Bunny

Speaking Of Thanksgiving....

It's gonna be awfully hard to have guests to our house if we can't open the front door.

Let me 'splain......

We had this really awesome idea to paint the front door navy blue. Previously the door was maroon and well....it kind of got lost on the house as the exterior of our house is Benjamin Moore Cottage Red. Red house, maroon door....you get the idea.
Well, now for some reason the front door won't open. Most likely because we painted the inside edge of the door as well....

Anywho..... believe you me we tried like hell to get it to open last night. I even went outside and tried to try the ass bump on it. And given the size of my ass I thought this was a sure fire way to open it up.
No dice.

So, we'll see what happens.
Pray for our door.

XO
Bunny

Martha Stewart Needn't Worry About Her Job Security.

I should preface this post by saying that Thanksgiving will be held at our house ( for the very first time) this year.

This is the conversation I had with my sister this afternoon.

Me: " So yeah...well... I'm going over to Linens & Things this afternoon. They're going out of business and I'm hoping I can get a deal on a turkey platter."

Alyssa: " Oh........that's cool......what's a turkey platter ? "

M: "Umm......it's a platter that you put turkey on. "

A: " Like....cooked turkey ? "

M: " Ahhh...yeah....like...... you cut up the cooked turkey and make it look all nicey nicey and then you put it on the platter. "

A: " So you serve turkey on it.....it's like a big plate ? "

M: " Right.......that's why it's called a turkey platter. "



Perhaps I shouldn't tell her that I have a Trifle Bowl....that might really blow her mind.

Sometimes I wonder if she's yanking my chain or if she really is that big of an airhead.

XO
Bunny

Fight For Your Rights.

OK, this is Dan Savage. I am a regular reader of his column at the Village Voice. As I have written here previously I am a huge fan and have career aspirations to be the hetero Dan Savage.
Here is Dan on The Colbert Report from Comedy Central expressing his thoughts on the Prop. 8, the ballot question to ban gay marriage in California.
I did enjoy the witty banter between these two. Have a few laughs.....I sure did.

And just because I am so transparent in my opinions I feel I should write that The Mister and I support gay marriage rights.
At this point it is a basic human rights issue.
It really bothers me that some politicians drag the religious aspect of this into it when appealing to their constituents.
Ever heard of separation of church and state ?

OK, getting off my soap box now.
__________________________________________________

We painted the dining room and living room last night. It looks like we have a whole new house now. It's amazing what a little paint can do.

Previous to this all the walls in the living room and dining room were white. It was very sterile and antiseptic.
__________________________________________________

Oh yeah, and my sweet Emmsie is on YouTube. This was part of her project for Spanish class.

__________________________________________________

And because I don't quite lean enough to the left I am off to Whole Foods Market for groceries this morning.







That is all I have for now. Going to do some touching up on the painting.

Have a wonderful day.



Xoooo

Bunny

Retro Music Friday.

This week marks the sad passing of Mitch Mitchell, the original drummer for the Jimi Hendrix Experience. He passed away of natural causes in a Portland, OR hotel room earlier in the week. He was the last living member of The Experience.

RIP Mitch....I'm sure you had some stories to tell.

The Mister and I love Hendrix. We often wonder what effect Jimi would have had on modern rock and rap if he were still with us. I'll leave you all to wonder the same.

Do yourselves a favor...go buy a Jimi Hendrix CD, or listen to it on iTunes, crank the speakers to 11 and absorb.....your brain will thank you for it.

Jimi Hendrix trivia time.......did you know the last meal he ate was a tuna sandwich ?

XO

Bunny

An Objection and A Retraction.

The Mister wants to make known his objection to my last post. He feels that it paints an unfair and inaccurate picture of him as an uneducated, monosyllabic, ass scratching, homophobic, "Git Er Dun " type neanderthal.
And really, nothing is further from the truth. He is none of those things.......

Perhaps when describing The Mister my literary and observational skills were somewhat lacking.

I'm not sure how I can accurately describe him......let me think.

Hmm.......

OK, he really has no patience for anything that smacks even remotely of being overly feminine.
Bear in mind, I said overly feminine....like Boy George.
Really, it's not so much Boy George himself that bothers him.....really I thinks it's his deep and abiding aversion to 80's music. However, he listens to New Order.....go figure.

It's just....well....he sort of has a masculinity fetish. He likes manly things......like books about war, power tools, workout equipment and BBQ grills.

He's a man, what can I say ?

I think my perhaps inaccurate representation of him in the last post was drawn from my own experience growing up in a houseful of females.....well....except for my Dad. But then again, my Dad was more steeped in the girly experience having had two daughters. He is well versed in the art of how to pop Barbie's head back on.

Brock has shared with me on many occasions that I would not find any of the aforementioned traits in him at all unusual had I perhaps grown up with a brother or two.

Maybe he's right.

XO
Bunny

P.S.
He did get a lawn mower. Still no deep fryer though.

The Man In My Life.

No one will ever accuse The Mister of being gay. He ( unlike his brother....Clinique moisturizer anyone ? ) does not have an effeminate, metrosexual bone in his body.

He will not go into a Hallmark store with me. He sits in the car listening to sports radio until I return. I can't quite figure out where his aversion to scented candles, Vera Bradley bags and cards that play music comes from.......

And God help him if I listen to Culture Club on the stereo. 25 seconds of Karma Chameleon and he's ready to rip out his short hairs with tweezers.

I bought him very expensive, unscented moisturizer last Christmas. He gets terribly dry skin on his face in the winter and I thought....well......let's just say the bottle is still 95% full.

Why is it still full you ask ? I'm not really sure, but I think it's either because ( in his mind ) real men have dry skin or moisturizer is for pussies. Maybe it's both......

I often tell him he is so butch he makes other straight men look like sissies.
Which, when I tell him this, is often met with some weird mixture of compliment and offense on his part.

Don't misunderstand me.
He is a very sensitive, considerate, thoughtful, loving spouse.
I wouldn't trade him for anything.

However, he's reached all new levels of manhood ( manliness ? ) now that we own our own home. The Mister has a new obsession......it's an affliction really. It has been consuming him for a week now.

He wants a lawn mower.
Needless to say finding a mower this late in the season is proving difficult.
He's bordering on frustration at this point, but when he gets an idea in his head he is like a dog with a bone.



Oh yeah, and he's on the hunt for a deep fryer too.
Why the need for a deep fryer ?
To make hot wings ! What else ?!



I will keep you all apprised of the situation as it unfolds here.



Xooo
Bunny

Retro Music Friday - The Half-Assed House.

This is 10th Avenue Freezeout by Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band. I should note here that Bruce & Co are my Aunt's most favorite band ever. I mean, she loves The Boss like I love R.E.M. It is a love that is total and unconditional.

Ok. Now that that is out of the way... this song is significant today due to our new address. Without giving too much detail I'm sure you can all figure it out.

This particular performance is from Bruce's first performance outside the U.S. - which was in London in 1975. The best part of this song starts at 1:54 - rock out appropriately. ______________________________________________

Why the Half-Assed part you ask ? Because much like the Ocean State itself, there are somethings that are just not quite right about this house.

For example.....the toilet paper holder in the downstairs bath is crooked. There is a piece of molding outside the backdoor that is untreated particle board.....yes....untreated particle board...outside....exposed to the elements.....with no gutter.......getting rained on and rotting. There are paint drips all over the front ( slate ) front porch. There are paint drips all over the driveway....we think he let the four year old paint.......just kidding.

Brock and I have concluded that the previous owners were not the sharpest tools in the shed. It's as if there were...coughcough...white trash who tried to not be white trash but couldn't quite figure out how to get there.

We've done a lot of walking around the house going " WTF ?! " and scratching our heads.

So we are currently going about un-half-assing the house.

Wish us luck.

XOXO

Bunny

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing.

What do I love the best about owning our own home ?
Many things.
Many, many things.

I love not having neighbors in my immediate vicinity. The fact that I can listen to music in the wee hours of the morning without the implementation of ear buds.......AWESOME !
Although I have to say, The Mister in his sometimes futile attempts to keep me in line warned me that he did not want to become " those people " in the neighborhood and requested that I keep the rocking out to a low roar unable to be heard outside the house....buzzkill.

I love having a barn......yes folks......I have a barn. I mean, I'm calling it the barn. It's not really a barn per sey. It more of garage / carport attached to a very, very large shed.
So, for the time being I am calling it the barn.
Yesterday Brock took all the random, white trash crap ( one tractor tire....really ? what does one do with one tractor tire ? ) that the previous owners left behind the barn and placed it in the barn. He felt that the items back there were an eyesore and needed to be dealt with.
He really does not want to be " those people ", does he?

What else do I love......hmmmm.....the massive amounts of space we now have. The fire place. The three bathrooms. The screened in porch.

What do I love the most ?
The absolute best thing about our new house ?
The one thing that sold me on this house ?
The pinnacle of happiness ?

The dishwasher.

Oh yes.
The dishwasher.

I luuuuuuvvvvv the dishwasher.
I never have a dirty dish in my sink now.

In our old place I would look at the sinkful of dirty dishes that had accumulated over a few days time and feel really overwhelmed. Like....oh my god...look at all those dishes ! How am I ever going to clean all. of. those. dishes.

Now I'm breathing free and easy.
And the smell of citrus dishwasher soap is INTOXICATING !
Almost better than vodka.
Almost.

Xoooo
Bunny

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel.

This morning I have a renewed sense of optimism about my country. As the title of my post reads I finally see the light at the end of the GOP tunnel.

The thing that surprised me the most was the overwhelming win Obama had by the end of the night. I feel that his overwhelming win was the American people collectively saying that they are tired of the BS of the past eight years. That the current state of our country is unacceptable.

I won't pontificate too much here, but I'm very happy.

For those living in Massachusetts wondering how I voted on the ballot questions they are as follows;

Question 1 - Ending the 2.65% state income tax - I voted No.

You can't cut 40% of the State's income without serious repercussions. Property taxes and sales taxes will increase exponentially. Our schools, social agencies ( DMR, DCF and DMH ) and infrastructure will suffer greatly.

Question 2 - Decriminalizing Marijuana possesion of less then 1 oz. - I voted yes.

For me it was about not clogging up our judical system with possesion cases. Besides there is more inportant stuff to deal with than chasing dumb college kids toking up behind the shed after dinner.

Question 3 - Ending Greyhound racing - I voted yes.

No real explanation needed here.

If you'll notice, I have a new ticker. ;-)

XO

Bunny

Revelations.

HOLY CRAP ! I LIVE IN RHODE ISLAND !

This was the Revelation I had the other day as I was driving across this city to Lowes.
It's as if you should have to have a passport to come here......seriously.

It hard to put one's finger on it.......there is just something a little off, something not quite right, about the Ocean State.

Brock went to Stop & Shop on Saturday morning and upon his return I think he summed up our new residency status most profoundly and perfectly.

" It's like we're in the St. Pete of New England. "

True that.
_____________________________________________

Things seem to be moving along here....thing are getting put in place slowly but surely.
However, every time I unpack a box and feel the slightest bit of accomplishment I turn around and there are six more boxes......and then I'm all like DAMN IT ! WE OWN TOO MUCH CRAP !
I'm sure you can all identify.

Pics once I find the camera - I swear.

XO
Bunny

Moving Sucks, Part II.

I think we might just be the only people who go to the closing on a house with dirty dishes in the trunk of their car.
Something tells me you guys do not find this hard to believe at all though.

Moving sucked. Plain and simple.
I won't go into details because I'm sure you all feel my pain.

I had a bit of a melt down yesterday, but only because my wonderful, loving spouse called me a " baby " for complaining that my legs were killing me after almost 24 solid hours of moving.

Really folks, my legs HURT. I have 17 bruises all up and down my legs, the worst of which being the Granddaddy of all bruises on the inside of my left calf from where I dropped a sub woofer on it.
Ouch.
And my poor calves have muscle spasms everytime I get out of a chair.
Double Ouch.

My cousin Nate came to my rescue Friday night. He came over while Brock was returning the truck and unloaded my car for me.
He also put the bed together and passed our Halloween candy for me. ( yep, moving and trick or treaters all on the same day........FUN ! )

I supposed he owed me one.....you know I did use to wipe his ass for him once upon a time AND I did get him a job.

And Chris.....what can I say about Chris ? He is a total rock star in my book. None of our move could have happened without him.
Chris, if you ever need a kidney I am so there for you man !
YOU ARE THE BEST !
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once I find my camera I will post pics.....until then I bid you farewell.

XO
Bunny