Fear And Loathing In Home Depot.

I've been feeling very expressive lately. Not sure exactly why, but it seems that I've got a lot to say these days.
I've just got blog posts coming out of my ears.........
So I'm just gonna go with it and ride the wave.

Cause sooner or later, and given that the mass merchandising and forced merriment season is upon us probably sooner rather than later, I will be constitutionally unable to do anything other than soak my flappy ass is in the tub with an issue of Oprah or House Beautiful and a screwdriver set neatly on the edge of the tub and the blog posts will dry up faster than Martha Stewart's cooch.

The Mister calls the whole magazine-cocktail-tub routine " Lifestyles of The Bitchy and Shameless ".

Anywho......back to the Big Orange Home Improvement Mega Store.

We went to The Depot earlier today. I needed a replacement tub handle. Three little things to replace the circa 1976 tub handle in the upstairs bath.
We went to The Depot for three things and left an hour and forty-five minutes later with a significant amount of cash divested from our wallet.

What is it about The Depot ?

I get in there and it's like some sort of weird vacuum.....you get sucked in and cannot manage to get out without spending at least fifty clams.

I'm not sure if any of you do this too, but partner A will ask partner B if they are wrapped up and ready to leave, and partner A says " Yes " and they begin their trek to the registers.

Inevitably someone will get distracted by lighting fixtures or paint brushes or duct tape or whatever and then BAM...another twenty minutes have passed and twenty five more dollars worth of stuff is added to the cart.

I suppose part of it might be that ol' false sense of Bob Vila-ness that The Depot inspires.

I fall victim to the Vila-itis sometimes.

I'll see some neato thing to improve our home and I get all starry eyed and in my head I've got 150 recessed lights strategically placed all over our house.

This would be one of the times that The Mister keeps me from swinging on the crazy tree. Or perhaps provides me with the oft needed reality check. You wonder why The Mister looks older than me..... he has to spend fifteen minutes explaining to me that you just can't go throwing recessed lights up in the ceiling like it ain't no thang.....

The Depot has reworked their customer service and the employees are TOO FREAKING HAPPY to ask you if they can help you find anything or order $5oo worth of custom glass tile or can we load a pallet of 1x6's into your trunk or how 'bout some nice paint......

And I'm all like " Gee, they're so nice here...."

The Mister says the old dudes in the orange aprons fall all over themselves to help me because, as I've said previously, I've got some all-star melons.

::::: sigh :::::

I need to stay away from The Depot.

Happy Saturday !

XoXo
Bunny