NAMA & My Replacement.

Ever heard of NAMA ??? Neither had I until today. What is NAMA you ask ? Why it's the North American Moron Association. And apparently they have a newsletter that I am not privy to. Further more this newsletter must have advised ALL the morons in North America to get behind the wheel of their cars TODAY. All of them. At the exact same time.

Unlike the rest of the free world I had to work today. My commute is a challenge on a good day, but throw in card-carrying members of NAMA all dressed in their Sunday best, piled 17 deep in a Windstar, trying to find Great-Aunt Ethel's house......and well, my normally challenging commute turns into well...........a flippin' nightmare.

I had to call Mumbles Mile and voice my frustration, which included a certain amount of four letter words.......thankfully Mumbles Mile is not easily offended.



Not sure if any of you other long term couples do this or if it's just us......OK, or if it's just me.

I have expressed my thoughts to The Mister on the next woman he should date and/or marry should I get creamed by a bus tomorrow. The Mister rolls his eyes and humors me as I'm sure you can all imagine.
The woman I have sort of based my replacement on is Bridget from The Girls Next Door. Now bear in mind I said " sort of " based. I've taken the salad bar approach to spouse shopping for him....you know...a little of this....a little of that.
I've seen TGND a few times....mostly to try to understand how an 80-something guy who looks like The Crypt Keeper continually dates women less than one-third his age.......I suppose " because he can " is the easy answer, second only to his really fat.....wallet.
Anyway, Bridget always seemed like a sweet and genuine girl. Not a snarky bone in her body ( unlike someone else we know....).
At some point this week The Mister had seen Bridget's new show on the Travel channel. And based on his verbalization earlier this evening I guess it's back to the drawing board for me.
Our conversation was rather one sided, but it went something like this;

TM: Hey, know that Playboy Bunny you keep telling me I need to marry....
Me: Yeah ?
TM: I watched that beach show the other night on the Travel Channel for a few minutes...
Me: And ?
TM: Oh My God.....she's an IDIOT!
Me: But.....
TM: Oh my God...could you have at least picked someone who would stimulate me intellectually ?
Me: But....
TM: I mean.....can I get someone who's outgoing, beautiful and smart ?
Me: But she's outgoing and smart......and she.....
TM: I'd rather beat myself senseless with a lead pipe than have to spend 10 minutes with her....
Me: But she seems.....
TM: Know what would be better than dating her ? Running full speed into a brick wall.
Me: BUTSHESEEMSSOSWEET!!!!
TM: I'd rather jerk off with a chain mail glove than listen to her mindless drivel.....
Me: But she...she...SHESEEMSSOSWEET !!!!

::::::sigh:::::::::

Like I said, back to the drawing board.

XO
Bunny