Wanna know what happens when you buy a house from Hillbillies ?
You find a large, spray painted mural of Bugs Bunny with tits on the underside of drywall ( if it can even be considered drywall.....) that you rip out of your stairwell.
As The Mister pulled out a large section of " drywall " to throw out into the heap of all the other " drywall " he'd ripped down I was all like......
" Hey, wait a sec.....is that ? Is that Bugs Bunny ? "
The Mister flipped the piece he was holding around and said;
" Yep, that's Bugs alright. Looks like Bugs has got a big rack too... "
The Mister went back to ripping down the " drywall " and upon exposing the interior wall he began to laugh out loud. It was not one of those ha-ha-what-a-funny-joke laughs....it was more like a oh-my-god-just-when-I-thought-it-couldn't-get-any-worse laughs.
So me, having no previous experience with drywall, went over to inquire about the source of the Funny.
Me: What ?
The Mister: See this ? **Points to exposed interior wall **
Me: Yeah ? ** not noting anything peculiar about the exposed interior wall **
TM: See the seams ? ** motions to long, horizontal seams **
Me: Yeah ? ** still not catching the drift, but what else is new**
TM: They put 2 foot sections of drywall in horizontally, see....there's like 12, 2 foot sections?
Me: Yeah ?
TM: That's how idiots drywall. It should be as big a section of drywall you can get so you have as few seams as possible.
Me: Oh.
TM: You know that show " If These Walls Could Talk ", well if this house could talk it would probably be the musings of four drunk hillbillies talking about beer and titties.
I'd post pictures of our drywall demo and reconstruction, but our camera decided to die today.
And I should clarify why I kept putting " drywall " in quotes. After ripping down the circa 1962 wallpaper in the stairwell I could not quite figure out what the material was that had previously had the wallpaper stuck to it. It certainly wasn't traditional drywall, it could best be described as compressed layers of cardboard and.....oh, I don't know.......old subflooring ?
Well, whatever it was is not in a heap in our shed awaiting a trip to the big drywall heaven in the sky.
XO
Bunny
19 September 2009
18 September 2009
Retro Music Friday.
My Sweet Emmise turned sixteen this week. Yep, you read that right. 16. I really don't have much to say about it other than " OH CRAP I'M GETTING OLD ! ".
The Mister and I went over to her parent's house to give her her Sweet 16 birthday gift and have some Birthday cake.
Speaking of her birthday cake, it was hand picked by her and was oh...... whats the word I'm looking for here ? Obscene.
Really.
I'm not kidding.
Wanna see it ??
Oy Vey was that a shit load of cake ( is shit load one word ? I'm not sure... ). They should throw in a free wheel barrow to anyone who buys one. You need it to carry this cake to and from your car. I joked with my Aunt that it was $32 and 32lbs.
At any rate, the song that was number one the week she was born was.....drumroll please........you Gen X'ers out there are gonna feel really old.......
Dreamlover by Mariah Carey.
CRAP I'M OLD !
Not too long ago The Mister and I had related to Emmsie the story of an outing we had when she was probably not quite three years of age. As she was so young at the time she's not remembered this particular outing but was amused by our recounting of it.
Wanna hear it ?
I knew ya did.
When she was not quite three The Mister and I had taken her to a small zoo not far from my parent's house for the afternoon. As we headed back to the car at the end our out outing we had all climbed back in the car to go home. The Mister had still had his Escort at this time and it happened to have a sunroof. As Emmsie had not had any previous experience with a sunroof she was quite fascinated by it. The Mister's sunroof was....umm...... " after market " and actually popped out ( don't worry, it was supposed to do that ) when you undid the latches.
So The Mister and I popped out the sunroof, stood Emmsie's tiny not-quite-three feet on the console between the seats and let her stick her tiny not-quite-three head out of the sunroof. Then we drove around the parking lot at the zoo. Granted we only went four miles an hour and the parking lot was empty, but Emmsie LOVED IT !
She laughed quite a bit...well, or at least as much as a sixteen year old girl can/does laugh, at this story.
She laughed harder when the three of us looked up number one songs by date of birth for her brothers. Turns out her two brothers came into the world to Always by Atlantic Starr and Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson.
I said to her " Gee Emmsie, I think you made out on that deal. "
She responded with " Shaaa...I think so too. "
Here's looking at you kid.
XOXO
Bunny
15 September 2009
Life On Planet Bunny.
Today I was pleasantly surprised to find out that His Holiness The Dalai Lama is on Twitter. Yeah, I know. Surreal, right ?? Certainly stranger things have happened, you know......stuff like THIS.
At any rate, I was expressing to some of my coworkers that I had stumbled across HHTDL via Russell Simmons's Twitter feed.
My coworkers and I are largely high-minded liberal peace and love types...so we're all pretty much down with The Dalai. I knew they'd appreciate to-the-second tweets from HHTDL so I who was I to keep this info all to myself ??
The reactions I got to informing my high-minded, etc, etc coworkers about HHTDL on Twitter were all pretty much the same. They all went a little something like this;
Me: Did you know the Dalai Lama is on Twitter ?
Random Coworker: No, but that's really cool. I'll have to check that out.
Me: Yeah, I found him through Russell Simmons's Twitter feed.
Random Coworker: ** blank stare **
Me: I found him through Russell Simmons's Twitter feed.
RC: ** continued blank stare with the occasional eye bat **
Me: ( heavy, exaggerated sigh ) Do you know who Russell Simmons is ?
RC: No.
Me: ( half volume faux scream ) WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS WHO RUSSELL SIMMONS IS !!?? I FEEL LIKE I LIVE ON MY OWN PLANET !!!!!!
My alienation was only further exacerbated later in the day by my cousin who professed to know who Russell Simmons is. He went on to tell me that, in fact, Russell Simmons was in Run D.M.C.
So then I was all like....NO ! NO HE WAS NOT !
And he was all like YEAH HUH !!
And then I was all YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SO SHUT UP !
And he was all like YOU ARE NOT COOL !
And I went all three snaps in a Z formation on him and pulled up the interwebs on my cell phone to prove my point that SEE !! RUSSELL SIMMONS WAS NOT IN RUN DMC !!!
So then he was all like WHATEVER and walked away from me.
:::::sigh::::::
My friend Zen Darrell has found an all natural method for keeping squirrels out of his house and attic that does not involve harsh chemicals or killing them.
He's been peeing around the perimeter of his house, marking his territory so to speak.
He's also been removing the " clumped " bits from his cat's litter box and crumpling them all around the back of his property line.
He's not seen a squirrel in a week.
Just wanted to pass that info along to all of you. He did tell me that I could share that with y'all.
Listen, it's not me peeing on my house so don't give me that look, ok ??
::::::sigh:::::::
I had another run in with the worms Sunday night. The Mister expressed that, at that point, he understood what it was like to be blissfully wed to a nine year-old with a crack habit.
Sunday night's run-in did not involve Wham ! but a certain white rapper did play a lead role in what I should start calling my one-woman performance art pieces.
:::::::sigh::::::::::
Patrick Swayze died yesterday. Heaven just got a little funnier if you ask me. RIP Johnny Castle.
:::::::::sigh::::::::::
My sweet Emmsie turned 16 yesterday......perhaps it is time for that AARP card after all.
More on that on this week's RMF.
So, I guess that's it. I hope everyone has a good night.
This post has been brought to you by Three Olives vodka and WFM 365 brand OJ with calcium.
See.....I said I was trying to make better food and beverage choices......WITH CALCIUM !!!
XXOO
Bunny
At any rate, I was expressing to some of my coworkers that I had stumbled across HHTDL via Russell Simmons's Twitter feed.
My coworkers and I are largely high-minded liberal peace and love types...so we're all pretty much down with The Dalai. I knew they'd appreciate to-the-second tweets from HHTDL so I who was I to keep this info all to myself ??
The reactions I got to informing my high-minded, etc, etc coworkers about HHTDL on Twitter were all pretty much the same. They all went a little something like this;
Me: Did you know the Dalai Lama is on Twitter ?
Random Coworker: No, but that's really cool. I'll have to check that out.
Me: Yeah, I found him through Russell Simmons's Twitter feed.
Random Coworker: ** blank stare **
Me: I found him through Russell Simmons's Twitter feed.
RC: ** continued blank stare with the occasional eye bat **
Me: ( heavy, exaggerated sigh ) Do you know who Russell Simmons is ?
RC: No.
Me: ( half volume faux scream ) WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS WHO RUSSELL SIMMONS IS !!?? I FEEL LIKE I LIVE ON MY OWN PLANET !!!!!!
My alienation was only further exacerbated later in the day by my cousin who professed to know who Russell Simmons is. He went on to tell me that, in fact, Russell Simmons was in Run D.M.C.
So then I was all like....NO ! NO HE WAS NOT !
And he was all like YEAH HUH !!
And then I was all YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SO SHUT UP !
And he was all like YOU ARE NOT COOL !
And I went all three snaps in a Z formation on him and pulled up the interwebs on my cell phone to prove my point that SEE !! RUSSELL SIMMONS WAS NOT IN RUN DMC !!!
So then he was all like WHATEVER and walked away from me.
:::::sigh::::::
My friend Zen Darrell has found an all natural method for keeping squirrels out of his house and attic that does not involve harsh chemicals or killing them.
He's been peeing around the perimeter of his house, marking his territory so to speak.
He's also been removing the " clumped " bits from his cat's litter box and crumpling them all around the back of his property line.
He's not seen a squirrel in a week.
Just wanted to pass that info along to all of you. He did tell me that I could share that with y'all.
Listen, it's not me peeing on my house so don't give me that look, ok ??
::::::sigh:::::::
I had another run in with the worms Sunday night. The Mister expressed that, at that point, he understood what it was like to be blissfully wed to a nine year-old with a crack habit.
Sunday night's run-in did not involve Wham ! but a certain white rapper did play a lead role in what I should start calling my one-woman performance art pieces.
:::::::sigh::::::::::
Patrick Swayze died yesterday. Heaven just got a little funnier if you ask me. RIP Johnny Castle.
:::::::::sigh::::::::::
My sweet Emmsie turned 16 yesterday......perhaps it is time for that AARP card after all.
More on that on this week's RMF.
So, I guess that's it. I hope everyone has a good night.
This post has been brought to you by Three Olives vodka and WFM 365 brand OJ with calcium.
See.....I said I was trying to make better food and beverage choices......WITH CALCIUM !!!
XXOO
Bunny
12 September 2009
Falling Off The Wagon.
So lately I've decided that I should make an attempt to eat a bit better. I've chronicled on this very blog about my numerous dietary indiscretions and general poorness of my food and beverage habits.
What brings this on you're wondering ??
I had an epiphany yesterday that perhaps my food choices are too taxing on my GI system and like a hot water heater.....( which is an oxymoron.....do you need to heat water that's already hot ?? It's really kind of an existential question...like what does one hand clapping sound like ? ) it needed to be flushed out.
I began my dietary rehab in earnest yesterday with........a small head of raw broccoli. Followed with two carrots and an apple. And green tea.
I'm sure you can all guess that by the time I got to Stop & Shop later that afternoon I was craving me some bad carbs, and not just any bad carbs.......I'm talking bad as in I-just-got-sent-to-juvy bad carbs.
I bought a double chocolate muffin out of the bakery case and ate the top half of it while driving to my friend Chris's house.
Can you say Glutton ??
I realize it's mighty difficult to change such ingrained habits on a dime - so I forgave myself of this muffin misdeed and told my myself that I'd begin anew tomorrow.
I decided that I needed a little inspiration for " Diet Rehab " and went grocery shopping at WFM early this morning.
I have to say, I did look like the biggest hot mess in the world at WFM this morning....but the folks there, both employees and fellow customers, are so embracing and accepting.....God, WFM is almost like a cult, isn't it ???
At any rate, I didn't feel at all like a hot mess due to their abundance of acceptance and overall hospitable-ness.....
Day two of " Diet Rehab " went much better for me. Although The Mister did express to me that I was a bit crankier than usual.
Fast forward to 4:30 this afternoon to The Mister and I in line at CVS. I guess he had spied me spying the display of juvy-bad 99 cent candy with a certain amount of longing in my eyes.
This resulted in him throwing a bag of sour bright crawlers at me.
I ate half the bag on the 2.5 mile ride home.
Remember THIS POST ??
Turns out that after a consuming a half bag of sour bright crawlers Wham ! can really facilitate one getting ones groove on. It was like Showtime At The Apollo around here for about forty five minutes.
In summation, I guess consuming a half bag of SBC in less than five minutes isn't like falling off the wagon....it's more like belly flopping off the wagon.
I'm going to crawl my fat ass back up on the wagon tomorrow.
Wish me luck.
XO
Bunny
What brings this on you're wondering ??
I had an epiphany yesterday that perhaps my food choices are too taxing on my GI system and like a hot water heater.....( which is an oxymoron.....do you need to heat water that's already hot ?? It's really kind of an existential question...like what does one hand clapping sound like ? ) it needed to be flushed out.
I began my dietary rehab in earnest yesterday with........a small head of raw broccoli. Followed with two carrots and an apple. And green tea.
I'm sure you can all guess that by the time I got to Stop & Shop later that afternoon I was craving me some bad carbs, and not just any bad carbs.......I'm talking bad as in I-just-got-sent-to-juvy bad carbs.
I bought a double chocolate muffin out of the bakery case and ate the top half of it while driving to my friend Chris's house.
Can you say Glutton ??
I realize it's mighty difficult to change such ingrained habits on a dime - so I forgave myself of this muffin misdeed and told my myself that I'd begin anew tomorrow.
I decided that I needed a little inspiration for " Diet Rehab " and went grocery shopping at WFM early this morning.
I have to say, I did look like the biggest hot mess in the world at WFM this morning....but the folks there, both employees and fellow customers, are so embracing and accepting.....God, WFM is almost like a cult, isn't it ???
At any rate, I didn't feel at all like a hot mess due to their abundance of acceptance and overall hospitable-ness.....
Day two of " Diet Rehab " went much better for me. Although The Mister did express to me that I was a bit crankier than usual.
Fast forward to 4:30 this afternoon to The Mister and I in line at CVS. I guess he had spied me spying the display of juvy-bad 99 cent candy with a certain amount of longing in my eyes.
This resulted in him throwing a bag of sour bright crawlers at me.
I ate half the bag on the 2.5 mile ride home.
Remember THIS POST ??
Turns out that after a consuming a half bag of sour bright crawlers Wham ! can really facilitate one getting ones groove on. It was like Showtime At The Apollo around here for about forty five minutes.
In summation, I guess consuming a half bag of SBC in less than five minutes isn't like falling off the wagon....it's more like belly flopping off the wagon.
I'm going to crawl my fat ass back up on the wagon tomorrow.
Wish me luck.
XO
Bunny
10 September 2009
My Dream Job.
No. Working the Taco Bell Drive Thru is not my dream job.
But I imagine screwing with Joe Public would be mighty satisfying.
XO
Bunny
08 September 2009
Please Start Your Prayer Chains Now.
So it seems our beloved Gateway ( THIS ONE ) is on life support. As I'm writing this our PC could crap out and DIE at any moment. At least that's what the kid at Best Buy said. I'm living fast and loose even turning it on, but hey, I love you guys so much that I'm willing to risk it.
Come to think of it.....would you want some 50-something baby boomer looking at your beloved PC ? No. You want the seemingly shiftless twenty something who beat Mortal Combat when he was 11 ripping the cover off it while wielding a screwdriver. Gives me an odd sense of inner peace.
But I digress.
You remember when I blogged about the combination of words that I never thought I'd say.....you know.... the UNICORNS.
Another strange combination of words came out of my mouth earlier this evening at my local Best Buy.
I sashayed myself in there.... (I looked particularly fetching today, I must admit )...and plopped my hard drive up on the Geek Squad counter and as a young gentleman came to my assistance I said......
" I need a Geek. "
Yep.
I. Need. A. Geek.
The Geek ( shamefully I did not catch his name.. ) diagnosed my PC with " a bad graphics card " and then went on to tell me that " you don't have too much longer...."
Which I suppose is sort of like them advising you to call hospice. You know, make your final plans now.
He ( The Geek ) jury rigged it to keep running for the time being. I asked him, between sniffles, how much longer....he said " A week, a month, six months....no way to really tell. "
So, The Mister and I will be backing up our files onto an external hard drive this weekend and start shopping around for a new PC.
And please don't tell me to buy a Mac. I HATE MACS !
Anywho.....F#cking Bill came for a visit this weekend. He seemed to have a good time. And The Mister was SOOOO FREAKIN' HAPPY to see his brother that he drank himself into a stupor on Bushmills and passed out on the porch.
Good Times.
What else ???? Ahhh...I worked in the yard for most of the afternoon yesterday. And.....let's see......I've got a rash. Ummm..... not too much else.
Please pray for my Gateway.
XO
Bunny
Come to think of it.....would you want some 50-something baby boomer looking at your beloved PC ? No. You want the seemingly shiftless twenty something who beat Mortal Combat when he was 11 ripping the cover off it while wielding a screwdriver. Gives me an odd sense of inner peace.
But I digress.
You remember when I blogged about the combination of words that I never thought I'd say.....you know.... the UNICORNS.
Another strange combination of words came out of my mouth earlier this evening at my local Best Buy.
I sashayed myself in there.... (I looked particularly fetching today, I must admit )...and plopped my hard drive up on the Geek Squad counter and as a young gentleman came to my assistance I said......
" I need a Geek. "
Yep.
I. Need. A. Geek.
The Geek ( shamefully I did not catch his name.. ) diagnosed my PC with " a bad graphics card " and then went on to tell me that " you don't have too much longer...."
Which I suppose is sort of like them advising you to call hospice. You know, make your final plans now.
He ( The Geek ) jury rigged it to keep running for the time being. I asked him, between sniffles, how much longer....he said " A week, a month, six months....no way to really tell. "
So, The Mister and I will be backing up our files onto an external hard drive this weekend and start shopping around for a new PC.
And please don't tell me to buy a Mac. I HATE MACS !
Anywho.....F#cking Bill came for a visit this weekend. He seemed to have a good time. And The Mister was SOOOO FREAKIN' HAPPY to see his brother that he drank himself into a stupor on Bushmills and passed out on the porch.
Good Times.
What else ???? Ahhh...I worked in the yard for most of the afternoon yesterday. And.....let's see......I've got a rash. Ummm..... not too much else.
Please pray for my Gateway.
XO
Bunny
03 September 2009
God I Miss Beavis & Butthead !
I'll go ahead and own that one. I luvs me some Beavis & Butthead. There's just something about their sophomoric behavior that appeals to the adolescent in me.
Johnny Knoxville also appeals to the adolescent in me as I had myself quite a laugh at Jackass reruns on MTV a few nights ago.
Although I did pretend to act all high and mighty ( " God, they are so immature ! Only guys do this crap, you'll never see two women pushing each around in shopping carts ! " Why are they whacking each other in the nuts ?? ) between fits of laughter.
Apparently B & B are now doing Film Forum, which you can find on YouTube.
Enjoy !
XO
Bunny
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