Why I'm Not On Twitter.

I'm sure there are some people out there who are not the least bit pleased that The Mister bought me a phone with a full keyboard not too long ago.
Back when I had to use the number buttons to spell out words I had to feel really strongly about the message I was sending. It took a long time to spell out what I wanted to express as I tend to be, well, quite wordy.

The fact that I now have a full keyboard means that I have the ability to really harass the crap out of people.

The other night The Mister made the comparison that I was not unlike Matt Damon's character in Good Will Hunting. The only really difference between myself and Will is that my genius lends itself to words, not numbers.
We're, me and " Will ", both extreme cases of MassHoles. Peace, Love, Go Fuck Yourself and say Hi to your Mother for me.

At any rate, my friend Anthony sent me a link to his band's website. They're having a show this weekend and the email included the deets of the show. I've been somewhat remiss as a friend as Anthony has invited me to many a show, but I've yet to attend one.

Hey Anthony, STOP HAVING SHOWS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT !

Just kidding !

It is the intent of The Mister and I to attend the show this weekend.

And just so y'all know, Anthony was " in tha hizzous " when The Mister drank himself into a stupor on Bushmills and passed out on the porch.

I cruised the band's site for a bit and further went on to discover that his band is on Rhapsody.

Needless to say, I was duly impressed.

So I shot Anthony a text;

Me: HOLY FUCK ! Your ass is on Rhapsody ! HOLY FUCK !

And I got a response;

Anthony: Is it just my ass ?! I could have sworn my balls were on there too.

And so on and so forth;

Me: Turkey.

Anthony: What ?

Me: You're a turkey.

Anthony: I love turkey. Why am I a turkey ?

Me: Please don't take my referring to you as domesticated poultry as an insult. Ben Franklin felt very strongly that the turkey should have been our national symbol. I was merely implying that your comment regarding your balls being on Rhapsody was in a manner of speaking, quite silly.
I was genuinely impressed that that you have your music published on a national music service. You should have recognized my impressedness with the capitalization and use of exclamation points with regard to the repeated use of the word FUCK.

Anthony: That was the best txt message ever. Thank u for being so impressed. I forgot about the balls thing :-) but they recorded a duo record that I swore was on there..... oh, and we're on iTunes too !

Me: When you say " we're " on iTunes do you mean you and your band mates or you and your genitalia ? If your ass and balls ever decided to do a cover tune perhaps they might want to consider " Stuck In The Middle With You " by Stealer's Wheel.

Anthony: I just lol'd really loudly. I'll run that suggestion by the " boys ".

Me: You know I'm going to turn this entire exchange into a blog post.


If there was a PhD in Wiseass - I'd be Stephen Hawking.

XO
Bunny