My favorite client " Parrot " returned from her summer vacation a few weeks ago. She happens to be....I really feel guilty saying this.....my favorite client. I shouldn't have favorites, but I do. Parrot, according to others, seems to feel as if I've hung the moon so to speak takes everything I say as.....well, her mother calls it " The gospel according to Bunny ".
Perhaps that is why she's my favorite. She does what I instruct her to do and never makes a fuss of any sort. Ever. Never nags me, makes be bribe her to get rid of unicorns or has any of the usual passive aggressive BS that many of our other clients have.
The one downside...well, maybe not downside, but...oh, I don't know.....caveat perhaps, is that she is one of our lower functioning clients. I cannot drop her on a street corner and tell her I'll see her next week as I can with others. I cannot let her pay for a cup of coffee without supervision. She requires at least a peripheral eye on her at all times. So, no BS, but I have to watch her all the time. A fair trade off, I think.
However as I have stated previously, she repeats everything I say. It can be pretty funny having your own words boomerang back at you channeled by someone with the mental capacity of a four-year old.
Earlier in the week I had taken her shopping at the newest LL Bean store in the area for some new threads. Upon exiting the parking lot there happened to be a half dozen or so middle aged men protesting LL Bean. They stand on the sidewalk and attempt to pass out flyers with regard to Bean's clothing being manufactured in sweatshops. I'm all for a good, old fashioned protest as free speech and the right to assemble ( although I think this one has more to do with religious gatherings, it could pertain to the Viagra poppers on the sidewalk too ) are our basic rights as Americans. However, it is annoying. A.Noy.Ing. They've been there for weeks. And I'm all Dude, I get it. Sweatshops. Child labor. Unfair wages. I get it. You don't need to tell me again. Shouldn't you all be sitting in McDonald's drinking coffee or something ?
At any rate, Parrot and I were exiting the parking lot, being held hostage by a red light, with the protesting Viagra poppers on the sidewalk not six feet from our car. As it was a nice day I had put Parrot's window down for some fresh air. But upon pulling up to the red light I rolled her window up ( power windows ) as I didn't want her to have to deal with these guys. She lacks the capacity to understand what they'd try to tell her and as I had no idea what the content of the flyer was I didn't want to subject her to anything that, again, she'd not have the capacity to understand and/or may traumatize her.
As the window closed I said, mostly to myself, " Geez, these guys need to quit standing on the sidewalk and get a job...."
I didn't think she heard me as, again, I was mostly talking to myself....
" Yeah, like these guys need to get a job. And like, quit standing on the sidewalk. I don't want your papers ! I'm not interested. No thank you. And stop standing on the sidewalk ! "
Cue the uncontrollable snickering on my part.
Fast forward to yesterday to the drive thru line at McDonald's.....I know what I said about " Diet Rehab " I know. I KNOW ! I was starving and desperate......... I ordered the Crispy Chicken meal, which I believe is the #7. Parrot was in the passenger's seat next to me and of course repeated what I had ordered;
" Oh, oh, Bunny ordered the Greasy Chicken sandwich. Oh, and like a diet coke and an, an, an apple pie. "
I ordered the #7 - the " Crispy Chicken ", but Parrot heard " Greasy Chicken ".
Reality Bites, doesn't it ?
And yes, it was an Apple Pie from McDonald's kind of day yesterday.
I used to think that most of life's problems could be solved with sex and alcohol, but I have since amended this.....most of life's problems can be solved with sex, alcohol and apple pie from McDonald's.
Ok, onto RMF.
I have a confession to make. You are all going to be totally shocked......that was sarcasm in case you couldn't tell......
I love New Kids On The Block. I do. Like, I luuuuuvvvvv the fact that they reunited briefly. It filled me with an unrestrained glee that is nearly impossible for me to contain - I feel like my twelve year old self again.
I realize that I have made it seem that my interest in them is of the " passing fancy " sort.......but I'm coming clean here.
I love New Kids On The Block. I have their new CD in my car and listen to it frequently. Although I hide it when I happen to have a friend in the car. I feel as if I have to hide my deep affection for Donnie, Danny, Jordan, Jonathan and Joe like it's my deepest, darkest secret.
I'm not a cutter, a klepto, a nympho, I don't do illegal drugs, I've never cheated on my spouse, I've never even cut the tags off my mattress.
I love New Kids On The Block.
But I am not going to subject any of you to a NKOTB video. Instead I give you........
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
This would be Mark Wahlberg, brother of Donnie Wahlberg, circa 1991. I believe this song was produced by Donnie.
I was 15 and a sophmore in HS when this came out.
Enjoy.
XOXOXO
Bunny
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