You Can Do It, But We Have No Intention Of Helping You.

Yesterday we rented a rug cleaner from the big, orange home improvement mega store.

The rug cleaner was due back today and I had the good fortune ( lucky me ! ) of being the one to bring it back as TM was working. I was the one who wanted the rugs cleaned in the first place, so I guess that it is fitting that I be the one to return said machine.

I pulled up to the big, orange home improvement mega store and parked in the No Parking zone. ( oh yes I did ! )
I wanted to park as close as possible to the door as I had hurt my back** on Friday and did not want to have to lug the machine any further than I had to.
I took the rug cleaner out of my trunk, chipping a nail ( damn ! ) in the process.
I lugged said machine into the store and proceed to wait for 32 minutes to return it.


There were two couples in line in front of me waiting to rent various machines. Let's call them Middle Aged Couple #1 and Middle Aged Couple #2.
Middle aged couple #1 was attempting to rent a pressure washer from inept big, orange home improvement mega store employee #1. He could not seem to figure out how to process the transaction to save his own life.
Middle aged couple #1 woman, lets call her Mrs. Ugly Sunglasses, was becoming very irritated at said employee's ineptitude.

Middle Aged Couple #2 were outside getting a machine lesson from big, orange home improvement mega store employee #2.

20 minutes has gone by.

Just before all the flesh started to melt off my face Mrs. Ugly Sunglasses says to me
" Rug cleaner, huh ? "
I wish I would have had a wittier response like
" Jeez, is that you're supposed to to with this.....?? "
or
" Oh My God do I have some explaining to do..."
but the only thing I could come up with was
" Yup, my rugs are nice and clean now. "

Neither of the big, orange home improvement mega store employees have chosen to address me at all. The over head PA system started to play " Shiny, Happy People "....you think I'm kidding ?
By this time I would have preferred someone hit me repeatedly in the forehead with a ball peen hammer.

10 more minutes have gone by.

I was going to walk out, leaving the ball and chain rug cleaner behind.
Things were getting desperate and I had to save myself.

Big, orange home improvement mega store employee #3 makes an appearance.
(Where the hell has he been this whole time ????)
Surprisingly enough, he could have passed as Bob Ross's twin brother.

Finally, finally, finally I get a
" Can I help you ? "
About flippin' time.

I could not get home fast enough. I had to chill or my head was going to become unattached from my neck.
I poured myself a drink and listened to Wings.

Feeling much better now.......just another typical, run of the mill day in the life of bunny.

In other ranting....DAMN YOU S. CLYDE WEAVER !!! WHY CAN'T YOU SELL YOUR GRANOLA ONLINE !
Last night TM and I were watching Family Guy while passing the container of S.Clyde Weaver's very fine peanut butter, chocolate chip granola back and forth between us.
It was like we were taking hits off a bong.
I slugged TM if I thought he was taking too much granola.
Hey man, you've had that way too long....gimme.
Our container of S.Clyde Weaver's very fine peanut butter granola is now empty.
Bummer.

** I did hurt my back on Friday and was in a considerable amout of pain for about two days.
But fortunatley muscle relaxers are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. :-)

Here's to self medicating.

XXOO

Bunny