This Apple Fell Far, Far Away From The Tree.

I'm not sure how a left-leaning, bleeding heart liberal ( and no, I'm not ashamed to admit it ) such as myself managed to come from two gun-toting Republican parents.

Which only further fuels my speculation that I am in fact adopted and my real parents ( with YACHTS and BUTLERS ! ) will be coming to get me soon.

My mother ( the person who is supposed to love and accept you for who you are - unconditionally) for some reason CANNOT STAND the fact the I make it a blanket policy to never vote for Republicans. She has tried, many times, to gently and in the most sickly-sweet candy and lollipop voice she can muster ( which is sooooo not like her ) to so beautifully illustrate to me how my life could be as perfect as a Snuggle fabric softener commercial IF I'D JUST VOTE FOR A REPUBLICAN !

Although in a moment of temporary insanity I let my spouse talk me into voting for Mitt Romney. I like to think that I was too taken with his uber coiff to pay attention to the fact that he was a Republican. It is one of the few moments of weakness I've had in my life.

This was our conversation last night;

Me: " Hey Mom, I got a pic on my email about that free kitten I was telling you about and I went ahead and forwarded it to your email. "

Mom: " OK, let me get to my email so I can look at it........OH HOW CUTE IS SHE ! "

Me: " Yeah, she's really cute, she looks part Siamese..."

Mom: " Did you know that John McCain chose a woman to run with him ."

Me: " You know, Republicans eat kittens. "

Was she hoping that I would associate John McCain with a cute, fluffy kitten ? Is she really sinking that low ?

My Dad takes the Killing Ants With A Bazooka approach in trying to convince me that I should perhaps alter my political leanings.
Basically it amounts to much screaming and frustration, with a certain amount of clawing at the flesh on his face, on his part for him to make his argument that GWB was placed on this earth by the right hand of Jesus himself.

And I'm all fingers in my ears singing LA LA LA LA LA !

I can imagine them sitting quietly enjoying a nice dinner by themselves wondering where they went wrong with me.
I mean, I LISTEN TO NPR AND BUY ORGANIC VEGETABLES ! WHAT COULD THEY HAVE POSSIBLY DONE TO DESERVE THIS !

Then I further imagine that over dessert they calmly write me out of the will.

Yes kids, McBush did choose a woman to run with him. Did you know she's a former beauty queen ?

Wait, my bad............. SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM WINNER.

I told you Republicans were misogynists.

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How did the home inspection go you ask ?

Beyond wonderful.

Super wonderful - it was almost raining daisies !

We're supposed to close on October 30th.



Xooo

Bunny